Back in the saddle again!

So, as some faithful readers may have noticed, I've been absent for a few weeks. The last month has been pretty tough for me, a perfect storm of returning hormones, sleep issues, work changes, parenting struggles, spiritual uncertainty, financial stress, etc. Two weeks ago, I couldn't name one part of my life that made me happy. Looking at my children made my heart break with guilt (for my horrible parenting) and pity (that they would have to grow up in this horrible world). I was exhausted, tearful, and probably a drag to be married to....and thinking of that made it worse. Then I would read these mommy blogs about all of these creative women who sew, cook, sing, clean, pray, blah, blah, blah....and I just wanted to crawl under my covers and die. Having emerged from this depression, I'd like to encourage any other mommies out there that I don't have my act together, and share some tips for how I got through it:

1. After the fact, I realize that it was probably mostly hormones. The cycles resumed and suddenly the sun was shining again. I'll try to remember that next month. =)

2. Surrendered myself to God. God knows that I scum. He loves me anyway. I found that focusing on my scumminess was kind of an obsession, like picking a scab--it hurt but was satisfying too. I think the trick is to not be self centered, even during the down times.

3. Got a massage.

4. Went to the witch doctor (chiropractor). She diagnosed me with a variety of infections, put me on some supplements, and prescribed the "fungus diet" (no sugar of any kind, no yeast, alcohol, cheese, dried fruit, fruit juice, or soy sauce) for three weeks. I feel better already.

5. Made a new schedule. The kids and I had been sleeping in late, skipping naps, and going to bed late. Now I get less sleep by getting up early, but somehow it feels better.

6. Let Ben take care of me. I got several much needed naps, backrubs, and encouragement sessions.

Anyway, it's good to be back!